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Everytime an angel sings

1st May, 2005. 9:30 pm. Senior Project Book Chpt. 4

As she got up and got dressed that morning she
thought about what she planned on doing that night when she
got home. She refused to think about what she was doing
today, there was too much fear in that, so instead she
though about what she was going to do when she got home. Not
if she got home, but when, because that insured her that she
was going to make it home.
“Sugar hurry up.” Joe’s voice came from in the
living room. It was a warm morning, and Sarai stood in front
of the bathroom mirror wondering if her dress was a decent
enough length for a funeral. Carolyn sat cross legged atop
the toilet to her right like a bright faced porcelain doll,
staring intently at her with her tongue between her teeth.
At the sound of Joe’s voice Carolyn seemed to come to life
as she called back her reply.
“Our friend just died, Joe. You could wait a few
more minutes while she gets dressed.”
Sarai turned to her friend and stared at her in
her soft white face.
“Since when do you care for Summer?”
“Since when did I speak ill of the dead.”
Sarai’s gaze turned back to the mirror and looked
at herself once more, wondering if she should change
anything, but not making a move to do anything.
“How do you get dressed for something so
depressing so fast?”
Carolyn looked down at herself, clad in a black
skirt and a black tank top of the same color. She wore no
stockings, but had on pair of black Mary Janes that overall
made her look younger than she actually was.
“I wear this to every funeral I go to.”
“How many funerals have you gone to?”
“None,” Carolyn said with a simple shrug. “But I
figure this would be my usual funeral outfit.”
Sarai continued to stare at herself in the mirror,
trying to find any malignant feature in her face. She could
almost still see the invisible scar on her face that made
Carolyn feel the need to be her protector. To her it looked
like bad stitches that held her mouth shut, but who knew
what Carolyn saw as she looked at Sarai’s sad reflection.
“There’s nothing wrong, you look fine.” Carolyn
said standing up finally and reaching for the bathroom door
handle.
“Are you sure?” Sarai asked. “Something seems a
little off.”
“Ask Joe, if anything is wrong, he’ll see what we
don’t.”
She took a long breath, and as Carolyn opened the
door Sarai pursed her lips to get rid of any signs of the
scar that only she could see. Then, she turned around and
called out to her boyfriend as innocently as she could.
“Joe, how do I look?”
~*~
“You look fine stop worrying.” Sarai said as
Carolyn and her walked from her house. It was sometime after
eight, and the sky had already settled in it’s little nest
past the hills and out of sight.
“Yeah, but do I look good?”
Sarai rolled her eyes as Carolyn handed her the
keys to the Accord and the two jumped quickly into it.
“I’m glad I don’t worry about these things like
you.”
“You should,” Carolyn said as she leaned the
passenger seat back until she felt she was comfortable
enough. “My cousin’s coming to this one.”
“Can I be single first?”
Carolyn made a noise that was somewhere in between
and laugh and a scream, and Sarai knew what was coming.
“I haven’t talked to him since it happened.”
“Good, and he better hope I never see him too.”
Sarai laughed, if not to relax Carolyn, then to
make herself feel better. She hadn’t talked to Scott in
days, instead she didn’t answer his phone calls and took
alternate routes to school, from school and anywhere else
she might have gone often.
The further they strayed away from Sarai’s house,
the thinner the ray of confidence Sarai had became. What if
these people could see it on her face, just as Carolyn had?
Would they speak to her, or would they speak to each other
in quiet whispers, spreading rumors around about what and
why it happened. In some versions would she become a
jezzebelle who lured Scott into a trap, or would she become
a weak animal, like a deer trapped in a bear trap, waiting
for the hunter to come after her.
Most of all in any of these stories would she
still be herself?
It got so bad by the time her and Carolyn arrived
at the party that Sarai found herself staring at herself
intently in the rearview mirror as Carolyn assured her that
nothing was wrong.
They walked into Juan’s home in these reversed
roles. Carolyn walked with her head held high smiling and
talking to everyone as they passed, while Sarai walked
beside her, like a small child, which was odd considering
that Sarai was a few inches taller than her friend.
Carolyn quickly walked to the kitchen and grabbed
a drink, and a glass of water for Sarai.
“Designated driver.” she said as she passed Sarai
the drink, and Sarai smiled. She wasn’t in the mood to drink
anyway.
Holding her drink close to her, Carolyn grabbed
onto Sarai’s arm and began to lead her around the different
rooms of the house, first looking for Juan to say hello,
then to find anyone that was even remotely familiar to them
and reminiscing about things they could barely remember.
All the rooms were lit with dim yellow lights that
made everything around them look tanned and sandy and as the
two walked, it looked almost like everyone was hanging out
in the middle of a cool desert.
Carolyn found a couch that was empty save for two
guys Sarai didn’t recognize.
“Designated driver.” she said as she passed Sarai
the drink, and Sarai smiled. She wasn’t in the mood to drink
anyway.
Holding her drink close to her, Carolyn grabbed
onto Sarai’s arm and began to lead her around the different
rooms of the house, first looking for Juan to say hello,
then to find anyone that was even remotely familiar to them
and reminiscing about things they could barely remember.
All the rooms were lit with dim yellow lights that
made everything around them look tanned and sandy and as the
two walked, it looked almost like everyone was hanging out
in the middle of a cool desert.
Carolyn found a couch that was empty save for two
guys Sarai didn’t recognize.
Carolyn sat behind her facing the other boy and
began to talk to him. She situated herself behind Sarai and
clamped their backs close together as she sipped on her
drink. She nudged Sarai, who felt this uncontrollable urge
to giggle.
The boy sitting across the couch smiled and sipped
his drink and looked relaxed in the cool, sandy lighting.
Sarai felt herself giggle again and was only able to stop
herself by taking a sip of her own drink. When she was done
she giggled again and took a longer drink.
“What are you drinking?” the boy asked looking
sideways at the cup in Sarai’s hand. Again she giggled and
took a quick sip.
“Believe it or not it’s only water.” She
responded. “Strange for one of Juan’s parties isn’t it?”
The boy giggled himself and took a sip from his
cup.
“Actually I’m having the same.”
Carolyn’s body leaned more and more onto Sarai’s
as Carolyn drank. Sarai instinctively held onto Carolyn’s
left pinkie with her right one. She needed to keep Carolyn
close to her without making her feeling confined and this
was the best way. She continued talking, staying very aware
of her friend behind her.
“I’m getting tired of water,” he said quietly
staring down in his cup. “Maybe I should get juice.”
As he stood to make his way into the kitchen,
Sarai stood to block his way.
“No point in that,” she said. “That’s got alcohol
in it too.”
In an odd moment he continued into the kitchen and
Sarai followed.
“Here I’ll show you a secret.”
She opened a drawer filled with sugar packets Juan
usually never used, and pulled out a few.
She opened them and slowly stirred them into her
and his drinks.
“Just like juice, without the color.”
“A message from Sugar Sweet and her Cheap Juice
Drinks.” Sarai giggled again and took a long drink from her
cup. The warm, sugary liquid slid easily down her throat and
sent a shiver down her spine that relaxed her entire body.
She smiled at him, Sugar Sweet, the joke was corny, but for
some reason she felt relaxed by it.
Maybe they stood there for hours, or maybe they
stood there for a few seconds, but as they stared, Sarai
noticed a slight flicker of something in her new friends
face that made her nervous. She clenched her right hand and
feeling nothing but thin air brought her back into reality.
“Carolyn?” She looked over at the couch. Carolyn
was gone, as well as the boy she’d been talking to.
“Carolyn, where’s Carolyn?” The new boy turned around and
scanned the room with his big black eyes.
“I don’t know I didn’t even notice her leaving the
room.”
“We have to fine her, we have to find her now!”
Sarai was in a near panic as she searched the
living room for her best friend. Every girl with straight
black hair grabbed at Sarai’s attention, screaming at her
eyes to change course, temporarily putting her off of the
direction she needed to be.
Suddenly thoughts began to flow through her head
of all the unthinkable things that could have happened to
Carolyn. The thoughts began to weigh her body down until
Sarai had to lean her shoulder against a wall to keep
herself from falling.
“You looking for Carolyn?” A large hand fell down
on Sarai’s shoulder, which sent her swimming. She whipped
herself around to face this informer, but further dizzied
herself and began to fall backwards towards the floor. She
felt someone grab onto her and pulled her close to a warm
familiar body.
“Have you been drinking Sarah?”
It was almost like being dropped in ice cold water
and the safety of the party decreased.
“What did you do to her Scott?” She screamed and
began to push away with all the force she could with her
little body. “What did you do? If you hurt her I’ll kill
you!”
The sick smile that was plastered across his face
made Sarai sick, and she tried harder to hurt him, all the
while screaming at him.
“Calm down, babe calm down it’s okay.” Scott
sounded as though her was on the edge of laughing. “I saw
her in the bathroom with some blond throwing up.”
Sarai pushed past Scott and ran towards the
closest bathroom. There she saw Carolyn bent over the toilet
looking over her shoulder at Summer in disgust. Quickly as
she could Sarai was at Carolyn’s side pulling back her hair.
“Gosh, this is why I don’t come to these things,
things like this always happen, people getting drunk and
throwing up all over the place.”
Carolyn reached out and grabbed Sarai’s shoulder
and squeezed.
“Summer get out!” Sarai found herself screaming.
“Go guard the door and make sure nobody comes in.”
“Especially yourself.” Carolyn gurgled out right
before another convulsion sent her body heaving for the
toilet.
“Stop walking and just heave. before you choke
yourself.”
Carolyn’s pale skin began to blotch, some parts
becoming paler than usual as her cheeks browned. Sarai felt
as Carolyn’s hair moistened in her hands from sweat.
Carolyn’s small body convulsed with each heave as her body
tried to push out all the sickness from her body.
“This is what happens when you drink too much and
you only weigh 80 pounds soaking wet.”
Carolyn was able to throw Sarai a dirty look
before turning back to the toilet to release more bile and
alcohol from her stomach.
The walls of Juan’s house were thin and the sound
of someone leaning against the door frame was loud and
quickly drew Sarai’s attention.
“Geez Carolyn, how much did you drink?” The boy
from the couch, Sarai’s new friend, stared shocked at
Carolyn’s small body which was now shaking almost
uncontrollably.
Apparently too much,” Sarai responded. Carolyn’s
body jumped forward and her eyes widened as she made a
frantic shift towards the toilet. Nothing happened and
slowly she relaxed herself again on the bathroom floor.
“Some guar Summer turned out to be.” She said
behind a smirk. “I bet she’s somewhere crying about some
boy.”
“If you’re talking about the blond she’s in the
hall talking to one.” the boy glanced between the two and
suddenly Carolyn’s body jerked up again. Nothing except a
soft scream left her lips.
She made an attempt to get up, but found she had
to sit down again to keep from becoming even sicker. Sarai
helped Carolyn stand and the two of them stared at the boy.
“That’s for the family support Joe,” Carolyn said.
“but me and Sarai have to get to her house before Summer
gets her heart broken again.”
Sarai took this as her cue and began to shuffle
Carolyn out the door.
“Here let me come with, I don’t want anything bad
to happen to you guys on the way home.”
Outside of the bathroom Joe took hold of Carolyn
and the three of them made their way towards the door. As
they walked Sarai felt a strange burning on the back of her
neck. She turned, wondering what it was that made her feel
so uncomfortable.
Scott stood on the other side of the room, leaning
up against the wall watching Sarai, Carolyn and Joe leave.
In front of him stood Summer, yapping on nonstop. Scott made
a move to push himself up from the wall.
Sarai quickly turned around and hurried Joe and
Carolyn out the door, handing Joe the keys to Carolyn’s
Accord.
“You’re a good driver right?”

(Sing for me)

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